“Gran, it’s a selfie.” “It is? Hi, everyone!” *waves* “It’s just a picture, we’re not broadcasting live.” “Oh?” “Just smile, okay?” “Okay! Hi, everybody!” *waves* Today would have been Gran’s 100th birthday. Not that anyone EVER believed her when she told them her age. That conversation…
The Dandelion That Ate New York
It’s Not Easy Being Green
*ring ring ring* “Hi, this is your new lawn care expert! How is everything going? “Well, fine, I guess. We’ve only had one treatment so far.” “That’s great! Well I’m calling to let you know we’ll be doing a grub treatment in the next couple of…
A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Musical
Because I live under a rock, it’s only recently that I started paying attention to the buzz about Hamilton. For this reason, it’s unlikely that I’ll get tickets to see it in person until I’m around 102 years old, but it did remind me how much…
Spring Arrives on Little Spider Feet
I am not a fan of winter. I’ve never been a fan of winter. Winter and me? Not friends. Our relationship became far more fraught once I lived in Miami for over a decade: my mid-Atlantic blood thinned to the point where I’d get cold even…
The Great Parking Lot Escape
Once upon a time, you had to pay cash to exit parking garages. That’s it. Cash. No credit cards. No paying ahead and using a little ticket to exit. No tapping a screen with your phone. No app. Just money. And a real person would be…
Camera Unready
“Hey, Mickey, would you mind serving as an emcee for an event in a couple of weeks?” “I’d love to. What should I wear?” “I’m sure whatever you choose will be fine.” Wrong. I have the uncanny ability to pick the exact wrong thing to wear…
You Say You Want a Resolution?
A couple of days ago I was in a liquor store marveling at the sheer number of pinot noir wines that appear to be named in homage to Stephen King. I was organizing a mini photo-shoot (as one does) when a sales associate approached me. “Hi, can…