In considering the number of times I’ve been called amply endowed in my life, I’ve come up with the following count: Never. Don’t misunderstand me – I am totally fine with this. I get into enough trouble as it is without worrying about additional parts of…
When Dermatologists Attack
“Does this mole look weird?” “Define weird.” “You know. Like, cancerous.” “I don’t think so, but then I don’t know what cancerous looks like.” “I don’t either.” Pause. “What about this one?” “I think that’s a freckle.” “Oh.” Pause. “What about this one?” “Why don’t you…
Vintage 50s Hair-Don’ts
Sometimes, you’re working from home and you take a short break and you think, “Self, I could totally test-drive that super intricate pin-curl video tutorial for the 50s glam hairdo for Evening in the Stacks: Vintage Vegas. You know, the one with bobby pins and hair gel….
Trick or Moo
There is no part of our front porch that isn’t awkward. It was clearly designed by someone who never personally used a front porch, possibly a space alien or a baby manatee. When the doorbell rings, opening the storm door to speak with the person on…
A Trip to the E Arrrrrgh
Once upon a time, a friend had a pirate-themed party to celebrate the release of one of the Pirates of the Caribbean movies (Part 17: Captain Grandpa Sparrow versus the Cephalopod of Doom). It was in the middle of the summer, and my mom was in…
Sophie, Music Critic
Sophie is a dog of many talents, thus her full name: Sophie the Wonder Dog. Little did we know she is also a music critic: In case it’s unclear, Sophie toddled into the video, stopped in the middle of the frame and proceeded to throw up….
Do I Dare To Eat A Beet?
I don’t know if there is an actual medical diagnosis for the irrational fear of beets, but if there is, I have it. I don’t know when the fear started. I don’t recall being force-fed beets as a child. The only real negative beet-related experience I’ve…
Spider House Rules
Dear Spiders, Insects and Slugs, Here are The Rules: You are welcome to the entire part of the world that is OUTSIDE of my house. If you find yourself inside my house, you’ll want to keep a very low profile until you can once again return…