Camera Unready
“Hey, Mickey, would you mind serving as an emcee for an event in a couple of weeks?” “I’d love to. What should I wear?” “I’m sure whatever you choose will…
"I spent the last few years building up an immunity to iocane powder. "
Blending the Rules
I am not a morning person. I’ve never been a morning person. At this point in my life I think it’s safe to assume I will never be a morning…
So, kind of a fan, yes.
Bloom County Returns
"Have you heard about those new corduroy pillows? They're making HEADLINES." Just like the comic strip that introduced me to this joke once upon a time: Bloom County. I was…
Juvenile assassin bug, Protector of Kale
Your Friendly Neighborhood Assassin Bug
“Hey, come look at this.” “I’m getting ready to jump in the shower. Can’t it wait?” “No, you need to see this now.” Run downstairs. “What’s up?” “There’s a tiny…
My Cups Runneth Over
In considering the number of times I’ve been called amply endowed in my life, I’ve come up with the following count: Never. Don’t misunderstand me - I am totally fine…
When Dermatologists Attack
"Does this mole look weird?" "Define weird." "You know. Like, cancerous." "I don't think so, but then I don't know what cancerous looks like." "I don't either." Pause. "What about…
Vintage 50s Hair-Don’ts
Sometimes, you're working from home and you take a short break and you think, "Self, I could totally test-drive that super intricate pin-curl video tutorial for the 50s glam hairdo for…