Welcome!
I’m so glad you stopped by!
I’ve been writing for a while now, so here are a few handpicked stories to get you started.
Some are funny, some are sad, some are weird, but that’s what keeps life interesting, right?
Most of the photos and all of the illustrations are mine.
Enjoy!
Featured Stories
The Windy City versus the Hairbrush of Doom
The new one was slightly heavier than my normal hairbrush, a seemingly unimportant factor that I would soon deeply regret.
Remembering Indy
Please be advised that this is a self-indulgent post, meant to chronicle the life of a good dog. It is long. It contains many pictures. You have been warned.
An Open Letter to Dave Barry
Let's just say I am not one of the world's naturally-gifted kazooers, a sentence I never expected to write.
One of the Lucky Ones
Stalking is no joke. It’s not flattering, or funny. It doesn’t show you care. It’s not romantic. It has nothing to do with love.
A Name By Any Other Name
It's like the person entering the information just gave up and started typing with their face.
Do I Dare To Eat A Beet?
I spent the next day avoiding the fridge with complex feelings of mingled guilt and fear.
A Strange Wind Blows at Blarney Castle
It may take a village to raise a child, but it takes significantly fewer adults to sacrifice a young person to the capricious gods of gravity.
The Great Parking Lot Escape
Once upon a time, you had to pay cash to exit parking garages.
My Cups Runneth Over
I was curious to see if changing to the correct bra size would make me fluent in six languages, remove the appearance of fine lines and teach me to divide by zero.
A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Musical
Everyone I knew loved Rent. How could I not like Rent? Clearly there was something (new) tragically wrong with me.
Spider House Rules
My attitude towards spiders has significantly mellowed, but the bedroom is still off limits.
Your Friendly Neighborhood Assassin Bug
I don’t mean to brag, but I have a history with assassin bugs.
As Explosive as a Dog Sneeze
I am no stranger to being sneezed upon by dogs.
When Dermatologists Attack
The canister fell and begin spraying clouds of liquid nitrogen across the floor until the exam room appeared to be one laser light show away from a dance club.
'Tis the Season
How we all made it to third grade is a mystery.
Dear Shiloh
Celebrating a life well lived. Celebrating a dog well loved. We miss you, buddy.
Shiloh Happened
I returned to Plush Toy Armageddon. I'd like to think they went quickly; the plush snake, the adorable alligator, the blue thing that I-don't-know-what-it-was.
Increasing the Volume
There are many phrases that describe me but the phrase “amply-endowed” is not one of them.
Things That Go Moo in the Night
My fascination with horror films ended rather abruptly when I started itching with a bad case of poison ivy during a movie about a flesh eating virus.
Death by Scuba
And really, who wouldn't want to dive in a place called the Snake Pit?
Happy Father's Day
Celebrating Dad with photos and an acoustic cover of a favorite Jimmy Buffett song.
Blending the Rules
*whirr whirr whirr WHIRR CLANG CLANG clank CLANK clang CLANG clank clank CLANG*
The Perils of Doggie Bath Day
"Someone smells like a dog."
"Why are you looking at me?"
Trick or Moo
Several years ago, I was sitting on the front steps when a tiny cow approached.
A Trip to the E Arrrrrgh
Because if one thing screams “ARRRRRGH IMMA PIRATE!” it’s a bright white shirt with laces up the front and billowing sleeves.